


we dem boys

by k2_b0



Series: Hope's Peak Academy is Gay [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: F/M, H - Freeform, Hinata Hajime & Kamukura Izuru Are Twins, M/M, Multi, anyways don't mind if some things don't make sense because again this is from waaaaay later in ksz, chihiro is a trans girl so she'll be in the ladies chat, i feel ... exhausted, it's a my boyfriend is your boyfriend too type thing, ive ASCENDED, ive been having a time lately and literally haven't written anything since february, so i chose to post this old thing instead of writing something new, so. this is.... something, the poly situation is complex but not really?, this is part of ksz but it's set around chapter 9 or something so yikes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 14:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14427765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k2_b0/pseuds/k2_b0
Summary: sharkshark: yashadaddadaIzuchu: Fucker.





	we dem boys

**Author's Note:**

> i disappeared but did anyone even notice bc i didnt. also formatting is 4 losers

{ 1:02 PM - Saturday}

  
~ Homo Sexual (Man) has added Egg, Nagitoe, sharkshark, and 20 others to the chat ~

  
~ Homo Sexual (Man) has changed the chat name to "We are the gays of Hope's Peak Academy" ~

  
Homo Sexual (Man): :3

  
guacamole: YOU ACTUALLY DID IT

  
Hoshi: let me OUT OF THIS HELL

  
Snake ass: Please, Atua, save us.... I can't deal with this..

  
Snake ass: Kokichi, please........... remove m

  
Robooty: Kiyo?!?!

  
Homo Sexual (Man): ah! he died!

  
sharkshark: wh

  
sharkshark: please not again

  
B4BY G4NG$T4: What the fuck?

  
Orange Juice: What the hell is going on here?

  
Nagitoe: Didnt you read the chat name, Hajime?????

  
Nagitoe: This is obviously a gay group chat!

  
Homo Sexual (Man): ding ding ding! Nagayto got it right!!!!!!!

  
Nagitoe: Ah, Nagayto?

  
Mondo: Yo what the fuck is going on here? Did you make this chat to mock us or some shit, you fucking twink?!

  
Ishi: Mondo, watch your profanity! I would doubt that our juniors would create a chat for the sole reason of mocking us!

  
Mondo:

  
Mondo: Sorry babe

  
Homo Sexual (Man): GAY

  
guacamole: GAY

  
Hoshi: GAY

  
Robooty: Gay!

  
Grasshopper: Gay!!!!!

  
Ass her: Gay!

  
AsstroBoy: GAYYYYYYY

  
Egg: Jeez when did our juniors get to be so cruel?

  
Ass her: Trust me, Makoto. We've always been like this

  
Egg: Sorry but who???

  
Ass her: Not important. Kokichi, could you get to the point already?

  
Homo Sexual (Man): Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

  
Homo Sexual (Man): fiiiiiine

  
Homo Sexual (Man): i made it so i could kill tenko!

  
Homo Sexual (Man): and so i could be gay in peace but still! it was mostly so i could kill tenko!

  
guacamole: i feel like hanamura is about to say something about tenko..... can you kick him?

  
TittyTeru: Hey!!!!!! I was just going to compliment her chest! That's no reason to

  
~ Orange Juice has kicked TittyTeru from the chat ~

  
Orange Juice: Better?

  
Animeme: Jesus christ yes thank you so much

  
Imposterior: That's a relief

  
guacamole: yea we're kicking anyone who's creepy or a bitch so watch out certain people who know who they are

  
Homo Sexual (Man): god i love a man with confidence

  
guacamole: god i love a man who's 156 centimeters tall, has purple highlights, and is gay

  
Homo Sexual (Man): god i love a man who loves me

  
fufufu: BL?!

  
~ Ass her has kicked fufufu from the chat ~

  
Egg: That seems pretty unnecessary... Hifumi isn't that bad

  
Ass her: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ You hint at yaoi you lose

  
Orange Juice: Wait, you two are dating?

  
Kuwaaah: dude, even i could see that

  
Izuchu: He's an idiot, what did you expect?

  
sharkshark: yeowch

  
Orange Juice: My own brother killed me dead

  
Homo Sexual (Man): yea me and my beloved rantarou are in love! the gayest in our class!

  
Nagitoe: Awh, that reminds me of Hajime and I back then! So young and in love....

  
Orange Juice: First of all we've only been dating for all of 1 month

  
Orange Juice: And second of all they're just first years. That's only 2 years under us

  
Nagitoe: Sorry I can't hear you over my pounding heart!!!

  
Snake ass: This is a group messaging system, there is no need for you to hear him.

  
Homo Sexual (Man): oh kiyos not dead

  
Snake ass: Please, be a little less disappointed.

  
Nagitoe: *I can't read your messages over the blood coming from my pounding heart!

  
guacamole: aaaaaand it's weird now

  
ca$h ca$h money: Could you all shut the hell up? This incessant dinging from my monopad is driving me up a damn wall.

  
Homo Sexual (Man): mansplaining your irritation

  
AsstroBoy: We woke him up lol. he. got woke

  
AsstroBoy: GET WOKEJFVVJ

  
Animeme: I just vomited from you typing that

  
AsstroBoy: It's twentygayteen I can do what I want

  
shlap shlap shlap (the sound of my hamsters hitting my balls): Hes correct. We can all do as wish. It's the year of the Holy One, after all.

  
shlap shlap shlap (the sound of my hamsters hitting my balls):

  
sharkshark: HDHDGGHJGJHJ IGJ

  
guacamole: IM FUCKING SCREECHING WHAT IS THAT

  
ca$h ca$h money: Did I not just tell all of you to shut. The hell. Up?

  
Egg: Hhh Byakuya Im coming over smh u cant be mean to our juniors and seniors

  
Hoshi: the hero we need but dont deserve

  
shlap shlap shlap (the sound of my hamsters hitting my balls): How am I to change this.

  
Snake ass: And, in contrast, the hero we deserve but don't need.

  
sharkshark: bro you cant change it. it's there forever now

  
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed: shlap shlap shlap (the sound of my tiddies hitting the bars of my minecraft jail) LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!

  
Kuwaaah: hey hiro what's shakin

  
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed: nothin much hbu

  
Kuwaaah: same as usual

  
Kuwaaah: wanting to bash my own head in with a baseball bat, the norm

  
Izuchu: That sounds like a personal problem.

  
Kuwaaah: haha yep

  
sharkshark: u weenie

  
Homo Sexual (Man): this is boring so im going to add in some controversy: mustard is gross

  
guacamole: SHUT UP KOKICHI WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT THIS HDHFH

  
Homo Sexual (Man): NOT IN THE GC

  
Homo Sexual (Man): anyways opinions?

  
Orange Juice: Im neutral

  
AsstroBoy: My opinion? Hehe slurp

  
Homo Sexual (Man): the disgust that coursed through my body as i read that cant be matched

  
Ass her: He said slurp

  
Homo Sexual (Man): implying that he drinks mustard straight from the condiment bottle

  
Animeme: Mustard isn't that bad

  
shlap shlap shlap (the sound of my hamsters hitting my balls): Mitarai, you seem to be speaking quite often. Mayhaps you are resting your earthly form?

  
Animeme: Yea i guess

  
Animeme: But really mustard isn't that bad imo

  
Homo Sexual (Man): another name added to the hit list

  
guacamole: am i on the hit list

  
Homo Sexual (Man): hmm. yea bc i don't play favorites

  
sharkshark: i think that's not true but okay

  
Homo Sexual (Man): when have i ever played favorites >:( give me one instance

  
Hoshi:

  
Homo Sexual (Man): ASFDGGVFH

  
Kuwaaah: wh

  
Grasshopper: Ryouma is right! Kokichi always plays favorites!! Especially when boys are involved!!!!

  
Orange Juice: Am I the only one who sees that he sent a blank message or

  
Hoshi: im used to conveying my thoughts and emotions through nothing

  
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed: edgy

  
Homo Sexual (Man): THAT WASNT PLAYING FAVORITES . I JUST CHOSE TO NOT GET SHUUICHI SENT TO KIRIGIRI'S OFFICE OVER KAEDE

  
AsstroBoy: Thats literally a prime example of favoritism but go off I guess

  
AsstroBoy: When Shuu or Rantarou are involved you always choose them to be out of trouble

  
Homo Sexual (Man): stfu ive put my dick on the line for all of u at least once

  
Robooty: Oh, like the time that the police came to the school after reports of drugs and you purposefully told them a lie that could very well get you sent to prison?

  
Homo Sexual (Man): EXACTLY. i could have name dropped hiro but guess what. i didnt !!! you're all snatched

  
Nagitoe: Wouldn't Rantarou have been sent off too?

  
Homo Sexual (Man):

  
Ass her: Don't kick him please

  
Homo Sexual (Man): anything for u shuu

  
AsstroBoy: R

  
guacamole: that wasn't a threat kaito please deflate your glands

  
B4BY G4NG$T4: Deflate his fucking what

  
guacamole: i was trying to be witty but are there actually any animals that inflate their glands when threatened

  
guacamole: pretty sure i was thinking about frogs

  
sharkshark: ?

  
guacamole: they've got those neck sacks

  
Kuwaaah: are you high

  
guacamole: not atm why

  
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed: haha fucking weed man

  
Nagitoe: Oh, sorry, did I say something wrong? Tensions have risen quite a bit....

  
Hoshi: tensions are always this high it comes with the weed

  
Ishi: Hm? What's this talk of weed?

  
guacamole: oh FUCK ABORT ABORT

  
Ishi: Unbelievable! In my short absence you all were discussing drugs! And on top of that, using inappropriate language!

  
Ishi: I have the right mind to report you all!!!

  
Homo Sexual (Man): taka didnt u know? weed stands for "work enabling extraordinary duties"!!!

  
Homo Sexual (Man): it's an educational acronym!!!

  
Ishi: Really? Kokichi, I know your tendency to lie, so excuse me if I'm not exactly willing to trust you...

  
Ass her: Ah, you shouldn't have done that

  
Ishi: ?

  
NEKOPARA: Hello everyone!!!!!! Sorry Im so late! I was training in the gym!

  
sharkshark: yo nidai!!!

  
NEKOPARA: Kazuichi!! I'm glad to hear from you! Have you been keeping up with the regime ???

  
sharkshark: yea we talked about this yesterday

  
Ishi: Is.... Kokichi still typing?

  
Grasshopper: Taka made a big mistake!

  
Mondo: If he starts talking shit I'm going to "make a ""mistake""

  
guacamole: nidai types a lot differently from how he speaks lol

  
NEKOPARA: Typing in all caps is annoying haha

  
Orange Juice: Ikr?

  
Hoshi: TYPING IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS???

  
Hoshi: im exhausted now

  
Homo Sexual (Man): What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.

  
Homo Sexual (Man): I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

  
Homo Sexual (Man): You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

  
Homo Sexual (Man): Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

  
Homo Sexual (Man): But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

  
Homo Sexual (Man): You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

  
Hoshi: the exhaustion just set in a little more

  
Orange Juice: What the hell

  
B4BY G4NG$T4: I feel like god hates us holy shit

  
Ishi: I

  
Ishi: I suppose that I apologize....? My intent wasn't to offend you.

  
guacamole: i still cant believe you have that memorized

  
Homo Sexual (Man): gotta use my brain for something useful

  
Mondo: Did you just fucking threaten him? Who the hell do you think you are?!

  
Homo Sexual (Man): Kokichi Ouma, leader of DICE, obviously!!! Do you want me to give you an autograph or something? It'll cost you, though, and you don't seem to be the type with the brain to make money!

  
Egg: Hey, guys? Calm down please

  
Egg: Um, Taka, they weren't talking about drugs, I think

  
Egg: So we should all calm down for a little while !

  
Mondo: Fuck

  
Ishi: Makoto is right! I shouldn't have caused such a ruckus! Come, Mondo, let's go watch a movie in the audiovisual room to clear our minds!

  
~ Ishi has gone offline ~

  
Mondo: Damn. Thanks Makoto. I almost fucked up there. That brat really pissed me off

  
Homo Sexual (Man): im still here lol

  
Egg: Haha its fine

  
~ Mondo has gone offline ~

  
Egg: Im about to have a stroke holy crap

  
sharkshark: GOD ME

  
Egg: Kokichi Ive already been punched by Mondo before and trust me, it's not fun. You wouldn't enjoy it

  
Homo Sexual (Man): sorry that's my coping mechanism :-(

  
Ass her: Did you really have to send the copypasta though?

  
Homo Sexual (Man): that's my coping mechanism

  
guacamole: hes not lying

  
shlap shlap shlap (the sound of my hamsters hitting my balls): Each creature has a boundary that should not be crossed. I believe that you got quite close to passing through one of those, Kokichi.

  
Homo Sexual (Man): i don't like being lectured by someone whose handle is "shlap shlap shlap (the sound of my hamsters hitting my balls)"

  
shlap shlap shlap (the sound of my hamsters hitting my balls): I understand.

**Author's Note:**

> yooo hmu if u aren't sure of something bc ill give u the answers u need


End file.
